Sometimes, it's dark,
pitch-black, empty, deep.
A lightlessness painfully stark
.....frozen....
Step after step taken,
all there is, is the dark.
Sleeping shadows awaken
.....invisible....
Sounds unheard, sights unseen,
I feel them pressing in.
They are no more, but they have been.
.....lost....
Realities imagined, waking dreams,
subdued under the glare
of a thousand dark beams
.....intangible....
Desperately disappear, too terrified to stay.
Cloying fear, suffocating, and...
a spark winks into existence, far away
.....mockingly unreachable....
and fades.
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ReplyDeleteShivakumara Kundur
ReplyDeleteGood, dont know, but could have been better, if you hadn't tried too much to get ending rhymes and words simply flowed..
Few shortcomings
1. Starting with 'Suddenly...'
2. Impersonal voice would have been more effective (instead of 'I')
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"glare of a thousand dark beams" is original and yet imaginable, nice!!
Reminds me of getting lost on a deserted stretch of road in a dark night and becoming a roadkill! Dont know if you were voicing altogether different emotions...
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me not a great critic but definitely a good reader :)
thanks for the comments: )
ReplyDeletejust one thing though, as unlikely as it may sound, i rarely TRY to get the lines to rhyme. so used to it over the ears, that they do 'flow' that way anyway.
The hope lies in the loss disappearing as a spark ... unreachable, far away!
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